is irritated that all of a sudden mozilla stopped doing random things it used to.
...is tired and wondering what molly's problem is today. she has barely slept and been cranky (gassy?) all day long.
...was sad earlier trying to talk to jill and jess about how I feel i cant do it without crying.
I am bored and constantly feel torn between entertaining jake, entertaining myself, getting things done around the house which make me feel better and feeling guilty for doing whatever it is I am not.
I feel disapointed and most often angry at the husband. He does not HEAR me or SEE me.
I feel invisible, alone, sad. tired and tired of crying and feeling so torn and not good enough.
when will he finish the fucking dresser that he promised would be done before molly was born and when will he put up the fucking blinds? seriously he was home for a friggin week alone and couldnt be bothered.

Good things- he thought enough to shop for a ring for me for molly's birth- that was nice, he cleaned the bathroom like i asked him to before i got home and he stripped the bed before i got home- which only made me wonder if he had someone else in it...what is wrong with me? us?

I am lost- he pays no attention to me and yes, I need the attention.

lonely

well its been awhile...I feel happy today. We went for a hike/walk around wiland pond (part way) and then took jake and molly to the buffalo farm. Shannon has had the whole week off and we are finally feeling like we want to get out and do some stuff. We went out to breakfast yesterday and are working on getting up and out of the house before 11am.
i am happier now that molly is here...i gave shannon the wii- or should I say he discovered it and is enjoying it. i realized that we both love thunderstorms as we had our first one of the season the other day. We have been working well together despite the sleep deprivation and i hope that continues...more to come.